With 37 amazing stories to choose from, we elected to highlight the following five. Scroll down to learn more.

Getting to know Ryan Steven Schweppe

April 7th celebrates the birth of Ryan Schweppe.

To mark this momentous occasion, we reflect on some of his notable achievements that most are not aware of.

As a humble and private young man, Schweppe attempted to keep his momentous exploits buried. It took seven experts weeks and $62,000 in travel expenses to compile this information. Their journey took these scholars to Africa, The Caribbean, Europe, and St. Louis, Missouri.

It is rumored that David Attenborough is slated to narrate a documentary entitled “Eros & Athena’s Child: The Schweppe Story.”

Expert Sailor and Prodigy Navigator

Here a young Ryan Schweppe is seen teaching a gentleman how to sail. At 3 years of age, Ryan Steven Schweppe became the youngest person to sail around the Cape of Good Hope, a maritime record that still stands.

He continued to sail until reaching the Seychelles Islands. All in all, he ended up sailing nearly 1200 miles non-stop, through the Mozambique Channel, setting another maritime record. His vessel, The Schwa-cooner, was attacked 100 miles off the shore of Tanzania, where 3 year old Ryan Schweppe fended off six Somali pirates with a flare gun, two gallons of diesel, a life preserver, and his prized collection of Duplos.

Revolutionary Fashion Icon

At age 5, a bright-eyed Ryan Schweppe signed his first modeling contract. He is seen here, dressed in the ’94 Osh-Kosh line, aptly titled “Schweet Pea.”

His make up and style sense has been hailed as influential on the world’s most powerful individuals, such as Justin Timberlake, Ghostface Killa (of Wu Tang fame), Pennywise, Rock band Mudvayne, Krunk dance crews, Daniel Day Lewis, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Fabio.

Schweppe Knows Sports

Following in Bo Jackson and Dion Sander’s footsteps, an 11 year old Ryan Schweppe elected to play many sports at once, including select baseball, basketball, pro-am soccer, curling, archery, golf, and football.

This picture was taken right before he presented Michael Jordan with a baseball.

A dewy-eyed Jordan later reflected on that day as a life changer. He opened up to Oprah and broke into tears regarding it as, “the best day of my life! Ryan Schweppe made me a better athlete.”

Pitch Perfect Soccer

What can’t be said about Ryan “Rampart” Schweppe’s soccer career? In 3 years of high school (he obviously graduated early), he allowed only 6 goals in 32 games. He also became the first Keeper to score 2 goals in one game–twice!

His achievements did not go unnoticed and he was strongly recruited by Manchester United and FC Barcelona. Even with personal recruitment calls from Lionel Messi and David Beckham, Schweppe turned down the opportunity to play pro soccer in Europe.

“Being the best goalie the world has ever known was nice and all, but my passion lies in account management,” a proud Schweppe once remarked to a boardroom of executives.

Christiano Ronaldo once stated, “Thank the heavens he didn’t come play on the pitch. Not only would I have scored less goals, I would’ve been considered as the one with the good personality.”

Other Notable Endeavors

At age 19, Ryan Schweppe invented the sport “Bara-Noodlin.” This dangerous activity combines deep sea fishing for barracuda and Midwest noodling.

The pictured barracuda weighed in at 32 lbs. and Schweppe had to free-dive 60 meters to catch the monster.

Since its inception, Bara-Noodlin has claimed 12 lives in the past 2 years alone. It has also become the national sport in Turks and Caicos. Schweppe holds the records for the largest barracuda caught and the deepest free dive of any bara-noodler. These feats have earned him the nickname “Iron Hand.” It is said that fearful barracuda will jump into the boats to escape Schweppe’s iron grip.

Comments from Co-Workers

“I weighed 140 lbs before I met Ryan Schweppe. Now I am a solid 230 that can dead lift 670 lbs. I owe this, and my spreadsheet making skills, to Schweppe.”
~ Paul Kienker

“He really helped me and my singing abilities. The man truly has the voice of an angel and the patience of a sage. I owe my entire singing career to you, Ryan.” *claps*
~ Jonny Moroni

“I thought 7 years of experience in account management taught me the skills I needed to survive. Holy s*#t, was I wrong. Schweppe has become a mentor in the workplace and in spirituality.”
~ Eric Noll

“Schweppe’s grammar is perfect and the man writes better than Hemmingway.”
~ Megan Harris

“He is a creative inspiration, opening thoughts and ideas that I thought only existed in fiction. Schweppe is a creative genius, laced with clever ideas. Would work with again, 5 stars!”
~ Michael Meininger

“He is what made me move back to St. Louis. I wanted to be near his magnetic personality and unrivaled skills.”
~ Matt Durham

“I have only known Schweppe for a few weeks but his elegance and grace are breathtaking. I hear Berlin and smell cherry blossoms every time he walks by.”
~ Jess Bushong

“Wow! Just wow!”
~ Chris Howard